RuPaul, winner of Outstanding Reality TV Competition for "RuPaul's Drag Race" poses in the press room at the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Peacock Theater on January 15, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images)
RuPaul is lifting the sequined curtain on his life as he opens up about his past struggle with substance abuse in his new memoir, ‘The House of Hidden Meanings.’
While RuPaul has broken barriers and challenged norms — all while wearing six-inch heels — part of his book uncovers the struggles he faced long before finding fame.
In an excerpt obtained by TIME, the 63-year-old openly admits to having faced substance abuse issues in the past. RuPaul reflected on the first time he smoked marijuana at age 10.
From that point onward, the Golden Globe winner says he was getting high “every day [he] could,” subsequently leading him to abuse drugs and alcohol to self-medicate in his early adult years.
RuPaul says he had never faced his inner demons until he got into a relationship with his long-time partner, Georges LeBar. The latter’s addiction to crystal meth sent him to a rehabilitation program in Florida, which was a blessing in disguise as it also allowed RuPaul to confront his own struggle with substance abuse.
The ‘Drag Race’ star had attended a meeting in support of his now-husband where a woman shared her life story and how she had been dealing with a cocaine and booze addiction. Her experiences seemed to have resonated so deeply with RuPaul, leading him to the realization that he, too, was an addict.
“Booze, she said, had been a way for her to maintain her sanity in a life that felt intolerable,” he wrote in his memoir.
“She was talking about her life, but she was telling my story. There was something under her words, a truth that she was allowing to be revealed, that resonated with me in a way I could not describe. She knew me. She was me, and I was her.”
After the meeting, RuPaul was determined to make a change and get his life back on track without relying on drugs. However, accomplishing this became harder as his fame continued to surge in the early ’90s.
The San Diego native admits that, despite trying to get clean during this time, he gradually slipped back into the abuse cycle.
A bottle of champagne was always available backstage, he recounted. Not to mention that as his work schedule became more demanding, he found himself smoking so much weed that it eventually became a part of his morning routine.
But as time went by, RuPaul experienced a series of incidents that made him realize his addiction had spiraled out of control. He nearly got arrested for possessing marijuana on his way to a film shoot in Canada in one such event.
It eventually prompted him to sign up for a rehabilitation program for his own sake, and it was during this time that he could discover his true self again.
“What I had learned in my time away was that I couldn’t be motivated by fear of not being enough. I had to be motivated by joy. By colors, music, laughter, dancing, and creativity — all the things that made life worth living.”
RuPaul says he has been sober since 1999. ‘The House Of Hidden Meanings’ drops on March 5.
