POLAND - 2023/10/24: In this photo illustration a Reddit logo seen displayed on a smartphone. (Photo Illustration by Mateusz Slodkowski/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)
A mother’s Reddit post about creating a limited savings account is sparking stepparent debates on the platform. The woman, username Feeling_Photo_806, revealed she started a savings account for her biological kids but did not for her bonus daughter.
The mother shared her story on Reddit’s famous “Am I The A**hole” thread, where users share personal drama for feedback. She explained that she entered a relationship with her partner four years ago. At the time, he had only a four-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, while she had none. It’s unclear if the couple is married, but her bonus daughter — as the user calls her — is now eight.
When the relationship started, the woman alleges she “immediately took on caring” for her bonus daughter for “half a year.” The child’s biological mother allegedly needed time to “get her stuff together.”
“…Since she was 4, I have taken an active role in parenting/nurturing her even when I was told I’m not her mother and have no say even though I did/do 99% of her care and needs when she is with us,” she wrote.
Four months into the relationship, Feeling_Photo_806 became pregnant with her first child. She then decided to start a savings account for her kid, which she deposits money into “every pay period.”
When her firstborn was eight months old, she became pregnant again. She decided to update the savings account by contributing double the amount. This way, her biological kids would have “an equal amount.”
She claims her partner had a nonchalant approach to the savings account when she first mentioned it. In a follow-up conversation months later, the dad said he hadn’t yet talked to his firstborn’s mother about the savings or started one on his own.
“I said he probably should since as her mother isn’t reliable in terms of money, and our two will, in fact, be given that money after graduation, and I don’t want any animosity over it. He said that’s true, and we left it at that. I don’t ask questions bc she’s not my kid, as I have been told, so I never mentioned it again,” she wrote.
However, during a recent discussion about the savings with friends, she got pushback about excluding her stepdaughter.
“They asked about my bonus daughter, and I said; I will ensure she is safe, fed, and knows she is loved when she is with us, but she’s not my child or my responsibility, so why would I take away from my bio kids to give to her when she has 2 parents that can do for her what I do for mine alone? I got some pushback that if I accepted him then that means I accept her and should do and treat her like I birthed her too.”
The post went live on Wednesday (Nov. 8) and pulled over 800 votes and more than 300 comments within six hours.
During that time, the mother added an edit to the post. She claimed the child is “loved, happy, and always excited” when spending time with her, her partner, and her siblings.
She also defended the father, saying he’s equally involved in all three kids’ lives, including financial care.
But, given the reactions to her post, she allegedly plans to revisit the conversation with the dad. She’s considering a “secret savings account” to prevent her bonus daughter from being “left out.”
Roomies, what would you do in this situation?
