NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MAY 10: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Kirk Franklin and wife Tammy Franklin visit Rock the Bells with host Roxanne Shante at SiriusXM Studios on May 10, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images)
Despite being married for 27 years, Kirk and Tammy Franklin don’t like being labeled “the perfect couple.” The pair revealed that much in an interview with Essence centered on their new matchmaking show “The One.”
Tammy was the first to correct Senior Lifestyle Editor Victoria Uwumarogie after she used the phrase. Kirk followed up by explaining why the is “problematic.”
“…That’s something that is very important for me to always to reiterate. I think that we are living in a culture where there’s so much of a romanticized ideology of relationships, especially in Western culture, that I think it becomes problematic when it comes to reality. I think that the platforms of social media and the filter and the over-the-top weddings and the gowns and everything that is for the ‘gram is a setup a lot of times for failure. We understand the sentiment when somebody says you’re a perfect couple.”
Though Tammy sees it as “a compliment in a way,” Kirk suggests the compliment should still be deconstructed. He explained that claiming perfection leads to a skewed reality, shocking people when imperfection occurs.
“I think that it’s the same space that I’m talking about, even in marriage, is that when you make marriage perfect, you make Christians perfect, then it makes something that is outside of the context of reality,” Kirk said. “It’s almost like when you meet people, and they say, “My mom and dad have been married for 50-something years.” Yeah, but when you go to the house, they don’t talk. They sleep in different rooms…”
Kirk also suggested the enslavement and displacement of Black people and families influences this stay-no-matter-what mindset.
“…A lot of times, we, sometimes as a culture, because we were so displaced as people, that family structure was so basically marginalized is that a lot of times we see, “Well, I’ll stay in this house and die” even if I’m not engaging and it’s not healthy. And I think that that’s a problem too.”
As for Tammy, she says that people tend to be more “infatuated, obsessed even, with the length of a marriage as opposed to the health.”
We often see that when fans label celebrity pairs as “couple goals.” For example, Eva Marcille shocked folks online when she filed for divorce from Michael Sterling in March. Though Sterling has said, he intends to fight for their five-year marriage.
Pivoting the interview following the ‘perfect couple’. convo, writer Victoria asked Tammy and Kirk what DID contribute to their decades-long marriage. Tammy ran down a list, including therapy and being proactive rather than reactive. Overall, she says being friends and their faith in God has carried them this far.
“But also, too, Kirk and I are really, really good friends, and because we’re really good friends, we have the other’s best interest at heart, and it makes you really care and sensitive, as best you can be, for the other. So I think that’s honestly been our ingredient. And then, most importantly, our faith,” she shared.
All in all, the pair wants those looking for love to “debunk these romanticized images,” said Kirk.
“There are people that meet in a strip club, they get married. There are people that meet at church, they get divorced. These are the realities of life, This imperfect, complicated, challenging, nasty, dirty journey of the human existence. It’s not pretty and clean. It’s going to have the nuances of the ups and downs and bumps. And that’s what love is.”
